Hell has no fire ...

... hot enough to punish this son of a bitch.

La. father accused of killing son owed $4K

9 mins ago

NEW ORLEANS – A father accused of killing his 2-year-old son in New Orleans over child support apparently owed his estranged wife $4,000.

The boy's mother, Daniella Powell, said Sunday she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary when Danny Platt picked up the boy Friday for a weekend visit.

But a few hours later, she says Platt called her and told her that Ja'Shawn Powell had been kidnapped. She says Platt then gave her conflicting stories about how the boy was abducted.

Police say the 22-year-old Platt made up a story about his son being kidnapped and later confessed to the killing. He told authorities where to find the boy's body Saturday.

The boy's mother said Platt learned last month that he owed back child support.

Who have you had your fill of?

E! Online has a poll asking which celebs should endure through 2009. Of course I took it, and my choices seemed to reflect the majority, with two exceptions:

1. I'm tired of Britney already. I'm glad the pieces of her life seem to be falling into place, and I hope she stays healthy and happy. But step outta the spotlight, girl!

2. Suri Cruise. She's cute as hell, but do we really need to know when she and her mom go to Toys 'R' Us? Or that she had her bangs trimmed? Even as much as I detest Brad and Angelina, their kids seem ... well, to be as normal as one could expect from flea-infested parents.

Here's more about people I want to see less of:

-- Paris Hilton. She's ugly as hell, and even more shallow.

-- Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. Who the fresh hell ARE these people? And why the fresh hell are they famous? Get them out of my magazines and off of my Internet and let them rot away like the stupid nobodies they are.

-- Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Who cares?

-- Tom Brady and what's-her-face. See above. Except I would like to see Brady publicly flogged for running out on his child. Now THAT I would pay good money to read!

-- Brad and Angelina. And Jennifer Aniston's name with theirs. How long has it been since they divorced? Let it go, people.

-- Amy Winehouse. My toilet backing up makes a more joyful noise. And does she remind anyone else of an ugly, nasty version of Janice from Friends? I don't care if she's flunking rehab. I don't care if her husband was arrested again ... and again. I. Don't. Care. Got it?

-- Madonna. I was tired of that cone-wearing trollop back in the '80s, even before "Like a Virgin." I've often wondered why she made it big and Cyndi Lauper didn't, especially since I think Cyndi could stretch $10 farther at a rummage sale. Shoot, I'd give Heidi Montag a break if she could bargain hunt. Maybe.

-- Tom Cruise. Would somebody give him some vitamins, already?!?

-- Anybody whose surname is "Lohan." I'm looking at you, Michael and Dina.

-- Pregnant celebs. It's as if the rest of us don't reproduce. (Jennifer Garner is one of the exceptions.) And enough of the magazine covers of people like Christina Aguilera and their newborn spawn. And speaking of Christina ...

-- Cutesy, puke-ass nicknames. Really, is it all that difficult to type a few more letters? Enough already with Xtina. LiLo, Speidi and RPattz. (The nickname on the latter, not the guy. One can never have too much Rob Pattinson.)

I'm sure I'll think of more as the year progresses ... and I'm sure I'll bore you to tears with them.

The Evil Empire, indeed

Wal-Mart is Satan.

The mom in this situation is a helluva lot nicer than me. I would have kicked the security guard's balls up to his ears. Soprano would have been a few octaves too low for his voice after I finished.

Gotta love The Consumerist's tag on it, though I think "douche bag" is a bit too gentle.

Dudes, c'mon ...

... it's Pamela Anderson you're fighting over. I mean, seriously, ewwwwww.

Forget the tramp and move on.

Tommy Lee, Kid Rock brawl at VMAs

From one single mom to another ...

You go, girl!

Britney Spears has struck some nerves. And I like it.

Usually, she gets on my last nerve, too. I miss the cute Brit who made videos in pigtails and had us wondering if she had breast-augmentation surgery at 17. Her appearance on SNL was classic!

Believe me, I'm the first to jump on the bandwagon bashing Ms. Spears. Her parenting skills -- what does it say about you when the world is rooting for KFed to get custody? The head shaving (dumb) ... the umbrella wielding (stupid) ... the extensions (are you kidding me?).

However, I won't deny her name has drawing power. So in a marketing move that should be surprising to nobody, they signed her to open this year's VMAs.

I didn't see it. I don't want to, and not just because it's The Slutty Ms. B. I despise those shows, period. I saw her with the snake wrapped around her years ago, and who could forget the Madonna kiss? (Anyone remember she also kissed Christina Aguilera? That seems to be forgotten in the telling.)

All those clips were shown ad nauseum on the news the next day. I'm sure if I bothered to switch on the TV right now, I'd find footage of the black-sparkly-bra-and-panty-clad Ms. B prancing around on stage.

What brings me to her defense, however, are two of her detractors, via E! News:

"I can’t believe she would perform. She hasn’t had a hit record in years," a slighted-sounding Kanye West, whose eagerly anticipated Graduation drops Tuesday, said Saturday night at a Rolling Stone party. "Maybe my money's not right. Maybe my skin's not right."

Memo to Mr. West: Maybe your name's not Britney Spears! While I might -- and that's a big might -- turn on the TV to check out Brit, I wouldn't walk across the street to see you in person. For free. And it's not the color of your skin OR your money. I think you're an asshole. Period.

While I have heard of Brit, the first time I ever heard of you was when you made an ass of yourself during that benefit for Katrina. It's too bad the only way you can earn name recognition is by spewing controversy.

Then there's his opening statement. The Beatles haven't had a hit record in years, either. When you're an icon, it doesn't matter. When you're a nobody, you gotta grab headlines any way you can.

And now it's time for the second detractor:

The Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl wasn't exactly waiting with bated breath, either.
"You know those things that you put batteries in and they just vacuum the floor without anyone touching them? That’s what I think of Britney Spears," said the rocker, whose band held court at the cleverly named Hotel Party #3,562, where they performed their new tune, "The Pretender ...

I'm not an advocate of censoring, but the Foo Fighters' stand on AIDS prompted me to ban their music and videos from my house. At least Brit's not spewing falsehoods that could cost her fans their lives. Go fuck yourself.

So keep singing, Ms. B. But ease up on the partying and put your kids in child-restraint seats in the car. And, for God's sake, put on some clothes! You can afford it.

The Worst Day of the Year

Yep. It's today.

I almost ran out of gas on the way to work. I love my car, but like everything else in my life, it's got its quirks. Its most major one is that my gas tank can be virtually empty and the needle on the gas gauge points to a quarter of a tank.

Or more, as it was doing this morning. But when it gets low, the car starts sputtering. People on I-40 don't like it when sputtering cars are sharing their road. One trucker particularly didn't like it. He can kiss my ass.

After making a stop I wasn't necessarily planning to make and driving about a mile out of my way to get 3 gallons of gas, the car was happy. But I was late for work. Not good.

We were two people short in our department today. One of them was the supervisor. Guess who's the supervisor when the supervisor's not around?

Everyone in this county who ever thought the newspaper might be interested in their story showed up at my doorstep today. Most days, that's OK. Today it wasn't.

I had two jobs to perform today -- mine and the supervisor's. My end wasn't looking so good. Then the proverbial shit hit the fan. Major story. Must get in the paper ASAP. Must have already-stretched-thin staff on the story. Now.

After a few hours in the scorching heat, the already-stretched-thin staff straggles back in from newsgathering to put their work together. That's when my Very Loud Co-worker decided to pump it into high gear. Only this time she was joined by her dickhead friend.

Blahblahblahblahblahblah ... And so it went. Louder. And Louder. AND LOUDER. The already-stretched-thin staff was having trouble concentrating over their chatter. I was having trouble concentrating. So, I did what any quasi-supervisor would do. I got up, went to their Corner 'o Chat, explained what was going on, and asked them to keep it down.

Very Loud Co-worker was sincerely apologetic. I thought it was classy of her.

Dickhead said, in his most sarcastic voice, "Oh, we're sorry."

He can kiss my ass, too. No, wait. I don't want him anywhere near my ass. He can go fuck himself. With a white-hot fork. The size of a pitchfork. Sideways. Up his ugly anus. (Can you tell I really don't like this guy?)

Today was shitty all on its own, but it was destined to be that way.

Had she lived, today would have been my mother's 64th birthday.

Her birthday is always hard for me. It's when I miss her most.

So many things were left unresolved between us. There's no way, barring recovery from the mental illness that eventually led her to take her life, that things could have been resolved.

In the last few years of her life, our roles had changed. I was the mother, reminding her to take her medicine and keep her psychiatric appointments. She was the meek child with good intentions she rarely carried out.

I have yet to grieve for her properly. I have yet to shed a tear. I planned the funeral. Picked out the coffin and her attire. Chose the spray of flowers adorning her casket. Arranged for the pallbearers because her lazy-assed nephews couldn't be bothered with it. Made sure Daddy had his Xanex so he could get through the service. Held my daughter as she weeped for the grandmother who would never see her graduate from high school or attend her wedding. Drove all over East Tennessee shopping for funeral attire for both of us.

It's seldom slowed down since. I miss my mother on the anniversary of her death and major holidays, and I travel 60 miles from here each Memorial Day to place flowers on her grave. But it's her birthday -- the anniversary of the day she drew her first breath -- that I mourn her.

Happy birthday, Mommy. I love you.

"Succeeding is the most important thing"

The above quote was uttered just minutes ago by Dubya mouthpiece Tony Snow in an interview with Matt Lauer on "Today."

Think about it: Succeeding is the most important thing. (Emphasis mine.)

That's why I could never be in PR. There is no way in good consciousness, no matter how much the White House was paying me, I could stand up on national television and tell people who have lost children, parents, spouses, siblings and other loved ones in this insipid war that succeeding is the most important thing.

Snow, with his blinders snug in place, assured Lauer that troop withdrawal is not an option. Of course it isn't -- his boss and the Veep, better known as Bush's boss -- refuse to acknowledge that they, in simple layman's terms, fucked up. We have no business in Iraq. Saddam was crazy -- there's no doubt about that -- but those WMD and ties to bin Laden? Nonexistent.

(Remember bin Laden, the real bad guy? The asshole who ordered jets flown into American landmarks, killing American people? I remember him -- but I don't think the POTUS does. The Veep doesn't remember, either -- after all, how could Halliburton profit if they go after him?)

Cindy Sheehan has the right idea: Impeach the motherfuckers. It's high time we showed them whose government is -- and whose interest it was put in place to serve.

How to waste time without really trying

Still showing their stupidity ... and wasting money:

When they weren't making laws, lawmakers passed around praise
By JESSICA FENDER
Staff Writer
Tennessee lawmakers sponsored more resolutions than
anything else this legislative session, lauding people like pop star Justin Timberlake and expressing solidarity with a Turkish religious movement, among other endeavors.

A Tennessean review of more than 6,000 records shows that 42 percent of all measures filed were resolutions with no force of law.

And while not all passed — Timberlake didn't, religious freedom in Turkey did — the drafting of such "memorial" resolutions cost about $70,000, by staff estimates.

Most resolutions honored local teachers, soldiers, sports teams, administrators or students for outstanding achievement.

Among them was Hendersonville Christian Academy valedictorian Jamie Wallmark, 17, who earned a
4.125 grade point average.

Being honored on the Senate floor meant a lot, she said, especially because she knows lawmakers are busy.

Resolutions cost time, money But lawmakers' busy agendas are precisely the problem when it comes to penning a deluge of resolutions, said John Summers, a lobbyist and Metro councilman who represents part of west Nashville.

While most are quickly dispatched, they can still "grind business to a halt," said Summers, who said
the Metro Council had a similar problem in the past.

"Clearly there are individuals that deserve recognition," he said. "And clearly there are some
resolutions that are there for political purposes by the sponsor."

About 100 of the 1,699 resolutions filed established study committees, ratified the legislature's rules or made a first step toward amending the state Constitution.

Rep. Tom DuBois, R-Columbia, introduced 167 congratulations, memorials and proposals to rename stretches of highway — the most by far of any legislator.

Which is cheaper?

Today marks the beginning of a new cigarette tax in Tennessee.

The Tennessean did an article on smokers stocking up yesterday before having to pay 42 cents more per pack. (The money, incidentally, goes to education and the state's trauma care centers.)

In the "things that make you go 'hmmmm ...'" department was this gem:

Or they could drive to Kentucky. That's what Cynthia Brown said she plans to do for her weekly carton.

"That's just the way it goes," she said. "But that doesn't make it any easier to accept."

According to the article (which I have to trust, since I neither smoke nor buy cigarettes), "a $26.77 carton Saturday will cost $30.97 today." Using my handy-dandy calculator, that's a difference of $4.20.

Gas is at $2.69 to $3.09 per gallon in Cynthia's corner of the world, according to Nashville Gas Prices.com. And Google Maps indicates its 41.6 miles to the Kentucky border.

So ... why would smokes be cheaper in Kentucky? After you factor in the gas and wear-and-tear on the car on a weekly basis?

It seems to me there are two cost-effective alternatives here: Suck it up and pay the tax. Or quit. Either is going to be cheaper than a weekly trek to the Bluegrass State.

(I wonder why they don't call it "the Bluegrass Commonwealth"?)

Other laws in effect in Tennessee today:

• School resource officers must be sworn police officers.
• Parents face fines if their children don't wear helmets on motorcycles or ATVs.
• Partners seeking divorce must go through mediation. And if children are involved, there's a waiting period.
• Students who gang up to fight an individual student face a mandatory one-year-expulsion.
• A new misdemeanor is removing a radio collar or microchip from a dog without the owner's permission.
• Driving a motorcycle with the front tire off the ground will be considered reckless driving
• Prisoners flashing prison guards face indecent exposure charges.
• Make a non-emergency call to 911 and you'll face a fine of up to $500.
• The tax on food drops one-half cent.
• It is now illegal to have sex with an animal.
• Anyone charged with vehicular homicide is not eligible for any form of diversion, which can get the charge removed from their record.
• The minimum sentence for offenders convicted of child rape increases from 15 to 25 years. That is where the judge starts, and then considers enhancing factors that can increase the sentence or mitigating factors that can decrease it.
• Drivers can now use deadly force if they believe they are in immediate danger from a carjacker.

Sources: WBIR-TV and Bristol News