Wine-flavored ice-cream-for adults only/
My stomach is churning at the mere thought of it.
Then, there's this:
Pungent pulp: Panda poop perfect for paper
I'm all for recycling, but UGH! Read on:
The base is in talks with several paper mills on how to turn the droppings of Jing Jing, Ke Bi, Ya Ya and dozens of other pandas at the base into reams of office paper and rolls of wrapping paper, Liao said.
- Why, yes, Mr. Insert-Boss'-name-here, I did think your latest memo was a piece of shit.
- What kind of shit did you wrap this gift in?
And there's more:
The Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand already sells multicolored paper made from the excrement produced by its two resident pandas. Making paper there involves a daylong process of cleaning the feces, boiling it in a soda solution, bleaching it with chlorine and drying it under the sun.
What shades of multi-colors? Beige, brown, tan, yellow and, for the really environmentally conscious, green.
Why should we limit this to pandas? I have a dog -- and he's Chinese. Maybe I could make a killing off Pekingese poop!
I'm taking orders now. Be sure to indicate the amount of paper and color desired. Refer to the above for available shades. Just for taking advantage of this one-time offer, I'll throw in some oceanfront property in Montana and a set of Ginzu knifes, absolutely free!
No CODs, please.
(Advisory: The preceding was an attempt at sarcasm. Any similarities to an actual advertisement for feces paper is intentional with tongue firmly planted in cheek and clothespin tightly clamped to nose.)
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