Hogwarts revisited

I have read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows twice in the past two months -- the first time, of course, I started the night of it was released and devoured it in about a day.

I then put it aside for awhile, and then picked it back up to read at a leisurely pace. The end made me want to go over Half-Blood Prince again, so I read it.

Today, I decided to start all over again. So I'm halfway through Sorcerer's Stone. As I read, it occurs to me there are a lot of questions still left unanswered. Such as:

• What happens to a wizard's/witch's wand when they die?
• If underage wizards and witches aren't allowed to perform magic outside school, why was Lily Evans never busted for "turning teacups into rats," as Petunia tells Harry upon the revelation of the latter learning he is a wizard? (Page 53.)
• Why was it that Ron couldn't perform simple spells with his broken wand in Chamber of Secrets, but Hagrid, whose wand was broken in two upon his expulsion from Hogwarts, is able to give Dudley a pig's tail and make boats move on their own with the pieces of his wand, stashed in a pink umbrella?
• Furthermore, if the Ministry of Magic does, in fact, monitor magic, why have they never caught Hagrid performing magic?

I'm sure there are more questions forthcoming as I continue to read.

Speechless

I swear, I thought he was already dead.

PARIS - Marcel Marceau, the master of mime who transformed silence into
poetry with lithe gestures and pliant facial expressions that spoke to
generations of young and old, has died. He was 84.

The Evil Empire, indeed

Wal-Mart is Satan.

The mom in this situation is a helluva lot nicer than me. I would have kicked the security guard's balls up to his ears. Soprano would have been a few octaves too low for his voice after I finished.

Gotta love The Consumerist's tag on it, though I think "douche bag" is a bit too gentle.

Dudes, c'mon ...

... it's Pamela Anderson you're fighting over. I mean, seriously, ewwwwww.

Forget the tramp and move on.

Tommy Lee, Kid Rock brawl at VMAs

From one single mom to another ...

You go, girl!

Britney Spears has struck some nerves. And I like it.

Usually, she gets on my last nerve, too. I miss the cute Brit who made videos in pigtails and had us wondering if she had breast-augmentation surgery at 17. Her appearance on SNL was classic!

Believe me, I'm the first to jump on the bandwagon bashing Ms. Spears. Her parenting skills -- what does it say about you when the world is rooting for KFed to get custody? The head shaving (dumb) ... the umbrella wielding (stupid) ... the extensions (are you kidding me?).

However, I won't deny her name has drawing power. So in a marketing move that should be surprising to nobody, they signed her to open this year's VMAs.

I didn't see it. I don't want to, and not just because it's The Slutty Ms. B. I despise those shows, period. I saw her with the snake wrapped around her years ago, and who could forget the Madonna kiss? (Anyone remember she also kissed Christina Aguilera? That seems to be forgotten in the telling.)

All those clips were shown ad nauseum on the news the next day. I'm sure if I bothered to switch on the TV right now, I'd find footage of the black-sparkly-bra-and-panty-clad Ms. B prancing around on stage.

What brings me to her defense, however, are two of her detractors, via E! News:

"I can’t believe she would perform. She hasn’t had a hit record in years," a slighted-sounding Kanye West, whose eagerly anticipated Graduation drops Tuesday, said Saturday night at a Rolling Stone party. "Maybe my money's not right. Maybe my skin's not right."

Memo to Mr. West: Maybe your name's not Britney Spears! While I might -- and that's a big might -- turn on the TV to check out Brit, I wouldn't walk across the street to see you in person. For free. And it's not the color of your skin OR your money. I think you're an asshole. Period.

While I have heard of Brit, the first time I ever heard of you was when you made an ass of yourself during that benefit for Katrina. It's too bad the only way you can earn name recognition is by spewing controversy.

Then there's his opening statement. The Beatles haven't had a hit record in years, either. When you're an icon, it doesn't matter. When you're a nobody, you gotta grab headlines any way you can.

And now it's time for the second detractor:

The Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl wasn't exactly waiting with bated breath, either.
"You know those things that you put batteries in and they just vacuum the floor without anyone touching them? That’s what I think of Britney Spears," said the rocker, whose band held court at the cleverly named Hotel Party #3,562, where they performed their new tune, "The Pretender ...

I'm not an advocate of censoring, but the Foo Fighters' stand on AIDS prompted me to ban their music and videos from my house. At least Brit's not spewing falsehoods that could cost her fans their lives. Go fuck yourself.

So keep singing, Ms. B. But ease up on the partying and put your kids in child-restraint seats in the car. And, for God's sake, put on some clothes! You can afford it.