Thursday, May 31, 2007

Thursday haiku ... and other ramblings

I'm tired this Thursday
But there's laundry to do--
My closet's bare.

The other editor
Makes hateful accusations--
Her life must be sad.
***
Anyone who knows my bleeding-heart liberal leanings should bookmark this for future reference, because I'm about to jump to the defense of a conservative Republican.

We're in the midst of a war, at the end of the bloodiest and deadliest month in the years since Dubya decided to jump onto an innocent country because "they picked on mah Daddy." Health care in this country is a joke. If gas prices continue to escalate I'm going to have to get a second job in order to afford to drive to my first job, and I'm not alone.

Now why, in the midst of all that needs fixing in this country, are some people picking on Mitt Romney's faith? Admittedly, I know next to nothing about Romney. I know he was governor of Massachusetts. (Wasn't he? Maybe I'd better go look -- yeah, he was. Thank goodness for Wikipedia and a tip of my hat to Michael Scott.) I'm sure I could find something I didn't like about him, what with his right leanings and my left ones.

Why do many in America have a problem with a person's religious affiliation? I would have never known what Romney's denomination was if it hadn't been for all the "Oh, gosh, he's Mormon!" squeals. Hell, I've supported John Edwards in two presidential races now, and I wouldn't even begin to guess which church he drives to on Sunday, or even if he goes to church.

Nor do I care. I want to know what a future insert-elective-office-here can do to make our world better and how dedicated he or she is to the job at hand. Their faith is between them and their God, god, goddess, Magic Conch or whatever.
***
I am so freaking tired. A vacation isn't too far away, and I can't wait. I just want to rest; the hell with the rest of it.

Even though time off will be glorious, I can't help but worry a little bit. The first few days back at work usually consist of putting out fires. I say "I'm sorry" a lot to folks who call and want to know why their insert press release here didn't make it into the newspaper. Sigh.

Time to toss in some laundry. "Clothing optional" is not a dress-code option. Although ... it would be dressing down. Of course, I'd probably get a dressing down for it. Wonder if I could formulate a persuasive argument about Casual Fridays?!? ;)

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Does anyone ...

Even know who's on "American Idol" now that Sanjaya is gone? Does anyone care?

And, as far as that other farce, "Dancing with the Stars," I say, "Go, Joey FatOne!"

Human-interest story

Want to know how to turn off a reporter and/or editor from your idea for an article?

Tell them you have a "human-interest" story.

I've been in the business for longer than I care to admit. I've seen babies whose births I typed up grow to be doctors and lawyers. I've typed up their children's births.

And in all that time, I've never heard an idea described as a "human-interest story" that would interest any human other than the one presenting the idea. Never. Not once.

Any interest I might have in what you're saying is out the door when you utter those three words. I hear nothing else. You might as well talk to a tree.

Over the years, "human-interest stories" pitched to me include:
-- Caller's divorce issues.

-- Caller's custody issues.

-- Caller went to bank for change for a $20. Bank wouldn't give change.

-- My granddaughter is prom queen/homecoming queen/insert-your-own-title-here queen.

-- A bailiff was rude to me.

Divorce sucks. Custody battles suck even more.

Banks have the right to make their own rules, including denying your change. Go to the convenience store down the road; I'll bet you your $20 they'll give you change.

There are a whole bunch of high schools out there. They all have prom queens, homecoming queens and probably real queens who I think are OK but you'd probably demand be kicked out of school not because they're causing problems, but because that's the kind of hateful in-the-name-of-Christianity pig you are.

Maybe the bailiff was having a bad day. Or maybe you're a rude bitch. My money lays with the latter.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Another "atta girl"

Sheryl Crow has adopted a baby.

The little boy, born two weeks ago, is named Wyatt Steven. She and Kim Fields are giving the odd names a run for their money. Way to go, girls!

Maybe Apple, Audio Science and Fifi Trixibelle are one their way out. One could only hope.

* * *
The Tennessean Web site today reported the top girls' and boys' names in the state over the past year. Top girls' names include Madison, Emma and Emily, while the boys lead with William, Jacob and Joshua. (What? No Michael?!?)

Here's the boys' names, by rank and the number of 2006-birthed Tennessee babies with those names:
1. William, 693
2. Jacob, 615
3. Joshua, 538
4. Ethan, 521
5. James, 510
6. Christopher, 449
7. Michael, 419
8. Noah, 412
9. Elijah, 405
10. Andrew, 401
11. John, 398
12. Jackson, 394
13. Matthew, 390
14. Caleb, 383
15. Landon, 367
16. Tyler, 362
17. Samuel, 340
18. Austin, 331
19. (Tie) David and Logan, 328
21. Joseph, 319
22. Christian, 316
23. Hunter, 310
24. Jonathan, 293
25. Alexander, 275
26. Daniel, 275
27. Hayden, 267
28. Nathan, 261
29. Nicholas, 260
30. Robert, 257
31. Mason, 254
32. (Tie) Benjamin and Brandon, 252
34. Gavin, 251
35. Dylan, 250
36. Thomas, 245
37. Cameron, 244
38. Zachary, 239
39. (Tie) Isaiah and Ryan, 236
41. Charles, 232
42. Jordan, 229
43. Anthony, 228
44. Brayden, 219
45. Aiden, 213
46. Gabriel, 212
47. Isaac, 204
48. Evan, 203
49. Luke, 198
50. Jeremiah, 193
51. Jayden, 188
52. Justin, 185
53. Bryson, 1805
4. Lucas, 177
55. Connor, 173
56. Kevin, 167
57. Aidan, 163
58. Jason, 162
59. Caden, 159
60. Carson, 153
61. Jack, 145
62. Aaron, 141
63. (Tie) Preston, Seth and Wyatt, 138
66. Braden, 137
67. (Tie) Carter, Timothy and Nathaniel, 135
70. Tristan, 130
71. Owen, 129
72. Riley, 126
73. (Tie) Blake and Jose, 124
75. (Tie) Eric and Peyton, 122
77. Kaden, 121
78. Eli, 120
79. Alex, 118
80. Chase, 115
81. (Tie) Dalton and Kaleb, 114
83. Adam, 113
84. Brian, 112
85. (Tie) Ashton, Devin and Sean, 111
88. Cooper, 106
89. Jesse, 104
90. Colton, 103
91. Ian, 102
92. Steven, 101
93. Jaden, 98
94. Garrett, 97
95. (Tie) Carlos and Cody, 96
97. (Tie) Juan and Patrick, 95
99. (Tie) Malachi and Parker, 93

And, on the distaff side:
1. Madison, 561
2. Emma, 527
3. Emily, 476
4. Hannah, 464
5. Abigail, 454
6. Olivia, 324
7. Sarah, 319
8. Chloe, 313
9. Alexis, 296
10. (Tie) Anna and Ava, 295
12. Isabella, 295
13. Addison, 283
14. Elizabeth, 281
15. Savannah, 250
16. Alyssa, 242
17. Brianna, 241
18. Ella, 229
19. Taylor, 216
20. Lillian, 206
21. Ashley, 189
22. Lauren, 184
23. Kaylee, 182
24. Morgan, 177
25. Jasmine, 176
26. Makayla, 174
27. Brooklyn, 167
28. (Tie) Hailey and Sophia, 166
30. Gracie, 165
31. Destiny, 164
32. Haley, 163
33. Mary, 162
34. (Tie) Katelyn and Lily, 157
36. Natalie, 155
37. (Tie) Samantha and Sydney, 152
39. Kaitlyn, 151
40. Kayla, 150
41. Grace, 143
42. Caroline, 134
43. Autumn, 132
44. (Tie) Allison and Rachel, 123
46. Katherine, 120
47. Trinity, 119
48. Mackenzie, 118
49. (Tie) Nevaeh and Shelby, 118
51. Riley, 117
52. Kennedy, 113
53. Zoe, 112
54. Victoria, 111
55. (Tie) Avery and Mia, 108
57. (Tie) Amelia and Kylie, 105
59. Megan, 104
60. Jada, 103
61. (Tie) Gabrielle and Madeline, 102
63. Katie, 101
64. Sara, 100
65. Jessica, 99
66. Bailey, 98
67. Maria, 97
68. Molly, 95
69. Mariah, 92
70. Aubrey, 91
71. (Tie) Audrey and Jayla, 90
73. Faith, 88
74. (Tie) Jennifer and Julia, 87
76. Breanna, 86
77. Leah, 85
78. (Tie) Aaliyah, Jenna, Jordan and Kimberly, 84
82. (Tie) McKenzie and Skylar, 82
84. Brooke, 81
85. (Tie) Kendall and Reagan, 80
87. Claire, 78
88. (Tie) Ashlyn and Rebecca, 76
90. (Tie) Layla and Madelyn, 74
92. Lilly, 73
93. Allie, 72
94. (Tie) Kathryn and Kelsey, 71
96. (Tie) Alexandria, Summer and Zoey, 70
99. (Tie) Alexandra, Angel and Lydia, 69

Anyone else notice there's not a Shiloh, Apple or Suri in the bunch? (Of course, The Girl's name isn't there, either, but that's beside the point. It's them we're talking about now.)

A man with a plan

I'm not shy about my support for John Edwards. I personally think electing him POTUS would be the best thing for this country since ... well, I don't know.

I'll vote for Hillary or Barack if it comes down to it, but they make me uneasy. I loved Hillary's husband, despite his foibles.

(Seriously, Bill, I'm OK with gratification between two consenting adults, but the "definition of what 'is' is was even too much for me.)

Hillary makes me uneasy, though. I don't think she is really in touch with America.

Barack is another story. I think he's in touch, but he's green. Give him a bit of experience, and I'll storm to the polls to elect him POTUS.

My problem with both of them is they're all talk and no action. Yeah, it was funny when Barack asked, "Is that Hillary?" while on stage with Al Sharpton. (Insert HUGE eyeroll here.) But what's he going to do about health care? What's the plan for education?

My man John has a plan. It's going to cost us, but anything worth having is going to cost us.

Isn't it better to pay in tax dollars than with lives, as our present administration has forced upon us? I have next to nothing, but I'll empty my wallet if it means keeping my brother, my daughter and our young Americans happy, healthy and productive -- and off the battlefields.

John may pay $400 for a haircut, but he hasn't forgotten where he came from -- and that there are still many out there struggling.

Give him a look, then give him a shot at the White House.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one in the free world who has NO interest in seeing Spider-Man 3?

It just holds no allure for me. Maybe if they had cast Mark Ruffalo as Spidey ...

Nah. I doubt that would even draw me.

It's not Tobey McGuire. (OK, it is partly Kirsten Dunst.) I'm just not into the superheroes movies. I've never seen any of the Batman movies.

(My brother, then about 7, confided once while watching reruns of the old "Batman" series that the real Batman is Michael Keaton. I beg to differ. Michael Keaton is Mr. Mom. The real Batman is, and always will be, Adam West. What's sad is even Adam West thinks he's the real Batman. But I digress.)

Many, many years ago a girlfriend and I, miffed at our boyfriends, went to see Superman 2. I have to say it was pretty good -- but only because every time Christopher Reeve kicked somebody's ass, we cheered in victory because we had named the villains for our boyfriends.

Maybe I should give Spidey a chance ... the ex and his mother would make good villains.

Go, Spidey, go! Open that can of whoop-ass!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Kudos to Tootie!

Kim Fields, aka Tootie from "Facts of Life," is a new mama. And she bucked the Hollywood trend of giving offspring weirdo names that assure them a place in psychotherapy.

The new addition's name is Sebastian Alexander Morgan. Way to go!

***
I didn't mention it earlier, but another young lady worthy of an "atta girl" this week is Alexa Ray Joel, daughter of singer Billy Joel and his supermodel ex-wife, Christie Brinkley.

Alexa Ray took a powerhouse dipshit to task for his biting words. And she did so in an intelligent way. Wonder how many times Perez had to go to Dictionary.com to look up the big words?

THAT'S the kind of young lady whose face we need to see plastered all over the place. What a refreshing change from Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

I hate UT sports

... and this is why:

In a little more than five months — and after years of lobbying from one of the game's most renowned coaches — Tennessee will finally have its plush basketball practice facility.

There's an irony here: Summitt has won seven national titles and is the winningest coach, male or female, in Division I college basketball history. Still, it took the success of a men's coach, Bruce Pearl, just two years at UT to generate the donor interest to finally make all this come to pass.

Dumbasses. They deserve to lose Pat for all the respect they give her.