The only redeeming value to it was that it starred that other East Tennessee gal, Dolly Parton. I remember watching it at the drive-in and thinking, "What the hell does Sly Stallone think he's doing up there? He can't sing. Heck, he can't really act!"
Pitiful, it was.
I can forgive Clark that one transgression. The man directed "Porky's," after all. Sophomoric though it was, it gave me more than one giggle as I watched it in my youth.
(Why do I all of a sudden want to call a bar and ask for Mike Hunt, a la Bart Simpson? I can hear Moe asking, "Mike Hunt? Is Mike Hunt here? I have a call for Mike Hunt." I'll be damned if I didn't laugh outloud while typing that. See? "Porky's" was good for something.)
But Clark's masterpiece was the holiday classic, "A Christmas Story." Little Ralphie and his Red Ryder are as much a part of Christmas as Santa Claus. I can't even pick my favorite part of that movie ...
- The Chinese waiters singing "Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra."
- "Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuddgeeeeeee ..."
- "It's a major award!"
- "You broke it on purpose!"
- "It was (gasp!) soap poisoning."
- The Bumpuses' dogs (all 17 of 'em) sneaking into the house to scarf down the turkey while Darren McGavin hunches behind his newspaper.
- Mrs. Schwartz, though we never see her, screaming, "What!?! What!?!" and pulverizing her son because she thinks he taught Ralphie to use the F-bomb.
- And, of course, "You'll shoot your eye out!"
Robert Clark, that brilliant mastermind whose direction brought Ralphie to life, was killed with his son today on an LA highway. http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/04/obit.clark.ap/index.html?eref=rss_showbiz.
The father and son lost their lives in a head-on collision with a drunk driver who, of course, sustained minor injuries. Such a sad and senseless end to a man whose leaves a holiday legacy that gives so many a reason to smile.
Thanks for the laughs, Bob. We'll try hard not to shoot our eyes out.
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