Potpourri

John Mark Karr has been arrested for battery, apparently stemming from an argument with his girlfriend.

Girlfriend? HELLO?!?

How desperate are you for a man if you think hooking up with this deviant is a good idea? I can hear it now ... "I know he confessed to brutally killing a little girl in Colorado, and he married two teenagers -- one of them 13 -- and he's been arrested for possession of child pornography, and he's been known to have a weird penchant for young girls ... but Daddy, I LOVE HIM!"

Ewwwwwwwww ... I think I need a shower now.

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I don't give a damn how much John Edwards pays for a haircut, and I don't know why anyone else does.

The man is stinking rich! If he wants to spends $1,250 or more for a coiffure, go for it. It's not like he's taking food out of the mouths of starving babes. And, hey, it beats the hell out of spending more money than either Edwards or I will see in our lifetimes on a war with a country that has nonexistent weapons of mass destruction. Note: The latter is funded with taxpayer money, while Edwards' high-dollar haircuts are not.

It's not how I'd spend my money, but, hey, it's not my money. And he does have good hair. It's better than Rudy or Fred's. Hell, it's better than Hillary's -- and I like Hillary.

***

Congrats to Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. Now go away.

You got married yesterday. So what? Lots of other folks did, too. You're no Charles and Diana -- or Charles and Camilla, for that matter.

Remember, Charles and Diana had "the wedding of the century" and later divorced. My money's on the same fate for you.

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Does anybody really care that Clay Aiken got into a tussle with a woman on an airplane?

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Anyone who hears me speak knows I have a Mouth from the South. If you haven't heard me, think Clay Aiken or John Edwards. We have very similar dialects.

Not only does my Mouth from the South carry that lilt, it also, at no warning, will refer to you as "honey," "sweetie" or "dear." In the South, that's as involuntary as breathing. The staff at work from time to time have all been one of the above. Heck, I even STILL call The Ex "honey."

I bet Jan Hicks does and did, too. Unfortunately, the former assistant district attorney was censured by the Board of Professional Responsibility for referring to a judge as "honey."

I'm unfamiliar with Hicks both personally and by reputation, but I sympathize with her. I know such terms of endearment could be perceived badly in a courtroom setting. But come on! This isn't "Law and Order." It's the South -- it's Tennessee.

And honey, it's just the way we talk.